30 ways to Murder a Biscuit
by JeffersonStarship
Summary: Castiel, Dean, Sam and Bobby get into a spot of bother ...


**_AUTHOR'S NOTE _**- Here is another one shot I wrote whilst bored, proving that I think I have further travelled the road to madness. At least I am enjoying the travel nontheless, and I hope you will enjoy the next tale ...

**_30 WAYS TO MURDER A BISCUIT_**

One day, long ago, sometime last week, Dean Winchester was very hungry. He was so hungry he was actually considering eating something. He didn't care what it was, just as long as he could eat it.

He tried chewing on Sam's arm, but Sam didn't like it. He tried eating Castiel's wings, but Castiel didn't like that either, and Dean just didn't like the taste of his own shoes. Bobby Singer had already run away, so Dean couldn't eat anything of Bobby's.

Sam in the end grew so fed up with Dean' constant chewing, he said - "Oh, Dean, go to the freaking shop and buy something already, why don't you?"

"Why didn't I think of that?" Dean asked in horror. "I could murder a biscuit!"

Bobby ran back in again once he realised it was safe again to say - "How can you murder a biscuit?"

Castiel replied by saying - "Well, some of the ingredients were alive once, so I'm sure it could be considered murder to a point!"

"You have a point!" Bobby agreed.

"I need a biscuit, murderous or not!" Dean announced before getting up to leave.

He came back some time later, carrying armfuls of biscuits, before staring to steadily eat his way through them all. Imagine how surprised he was when one of the biscuits bit him back ... Dean screamed at the biscuit, as it chased him about the room.

Sam stood and laughed at Dean' plight, while Bobby and Castiel hatched a plan to catch the murderous biscuit.

Once the plan was fully formed, Bobby jumped in front of Dean and shouted - "FREEZE ME HOMIE!"

Dean was so stunned, he froze where he stood, whereupon the biscuit jumped on his back, to crawl up to his neck in an attempt to chew on it. The biscuit would have succeeded if not for the timely intervention of Castiel, who plucked the biscuit from Dean's body with slender fingers before the murderous biscuit could do any damage.

"Thank you, Castiel, you're my hero, let me kiss you!!" Dean said, homing in on the angel who pushed him away in horror.

"Leave it, Dean, not now, I'm alright!!" Castiel said, with a shake of his head which sent his wings flapping, as he stepped away from the reaching hunter.

The biscuit twitched between his fingers, and he all but flung the biscuit away from his body, with a cry and look of horror on his face, before the biscuit smashed upon the furthest wall.

Amazingly, the biscuit regrouped, piecing itself together from all of it's biscuity shards and crumbs, until it had returned to normal again, albeit rather crumbly. The biscuit crawled its way back to Dean, who promptly stamped on it. The same thing happened with the regrouping. No matter what our heroes tried, the biscuit always came crawling straight back, heading straight for Dean.

"If anyone asks what we have been doing today, all we have to say to them is - we found 30 ways to murder a biscuit ... " Castiel muttered, as Bobby's face lit up with an idea.

"I've got an idea!" he said, looking excited.

"What is it? Tell us already?" Sam grumbled, looking exhausted from chasing a mad biscuit around the room.

Castiel flopped himself down in a nearby chair looking exhausted himself, hair sticking to his forehead in short and sweaty strands.

"We eat it!" Bobby announced.

"Who wants to eat a homicidal biscuit?" Dean asked, in horror.

"I will!" Bobby said, bravely, adopting a brave stance.

Sam eyed him warily, before asking - "Are you really that hungry?"

"Yes and desperate to get rid of a maniacal biscuit!" Bobby said, before picking up the biscuit and chomping steadily and bravely on the offending item.

Once he'd managed to swallow the whole lot, everyone watched him carefully, before he shrugged and said - "I'm okay!"

His eyes suddenly grew large in his head, before he grabbed his stomach and groaned loudly.

"Bobby! You stupid man! You shouldn't have done it!" Dean said in alarm, before realizing that Bobby had actually started to laugh.

"I'm fine!! And I think It's gone for good!" Bobby announced with some relief.

"Keeping my eye on you just in case!" Sam said, darkly, still examining the elder hunter with a shifty eye.

Bobby merely smiled and the day continued with no further mishaps. There was no explanation as to why the biscuit turned homicidal, but needless to say, none of our heroes ever visited that shop never ever again!

THE END!!


End file.
